Stretch Mark Prevention

I am officially 33 weeks pregnant! It’s crazy to me that 8+ months have already gone by and soon I’ll be welcoming our daughter into this world.

Up until this point, I have gained around 23 or so pounds, and my belly has definitely started to stick out, but not nearly as much as I assumed it would by this point. I’m almost 6 feet tall, so it’s going to take longer for that pronounced bump to show up. Either way, my skin has been itching a bit and I have been diligent with putting on creams and oils at least once daily to relieve the itchiness and hopefully keep stretch marks at bay.

I truly believe that stretch marks have a lot to do with someones size and how much they grow during pregnancy, genetics, and efforts to moisturize regularly. I don’t think its just one of these items but rather a combination of things. However, I would have to assume like so many other things in pregnancy, that genetics plays a large role in whether or not one gets stretch marks or pronounced stretch marks. Either way, the discomfort from itchy dry skin is reason enough for me to find the most moisturizing oils and body butters I can find. Below are a few I have tried and really loved.

1: Matana Oil. I was gifted this oil in order to try and see how I liked it. I have been gifted a lot of items, and often times will never mention them because I didn’t really care for them or felt strongly enough about the product to recommend to my friends. I really liked this body oil though and the ingredients are quality which makes me feel good when putting it on. The oil is moisturizing but not too slick or wet to where it’ll stain or absorb into my clothes, which is key. It’s dewy and makes my skin feel so hydrated but it’s not physically cold to put on, so I use this when I’m not wanting that shock of cold after a shower.

2. Jose Maran Argan Body Butter- My girlfriend Stella uses this and highly recommended it and she is in her second pregnancy. She loves it, and I trust her recommendations so I also got it. It truly feels so good in the skin and is cooling and soooo moisturizing. I got a four pack of different scents and I have to say, I ran out so fast because I used it all over all the time. It’s a great product and your skin feels ultra soft from using it.

3. Mutha Body Butter- My friend Mandy, who is a skin EXPERT, recommended this body butter to me and it’s SO MOISTURIZING. The only down side would be that it’s pricey, but it does come in a large tub and lasts a long time. It also is super clean and smells amazing. I absolutely love it.

At the end of the day, stretch marks can happen to the best of us who are diligent about our daily routines, but I know that if they were going to happen, at least they will be minimized by using quality products that are highly nourishing throughout my pregnancy. After all we don’t know for sure if they are preventable for sure or are genetic, but I like to always do my part!

I believe in doing the best you can do with what you have and what you know. After that, we gotta roll with the punches! If I was genetically predisposed to stretch marks, regardless of my size, hydrating routine, and healthy eating, then I’ll have peace of mind knowing I did my part and my belly will look better than if I didn’t do those other things. Stretch marks are not the end of the world, in fact I have a bunch on my inner thighs and sides my booty from growing six inches in junior high in one summer. However, I always believe in doing my best for the results I want, and then go from there.

I really enjoyed these three products and linked them plus a couple others that came highly recommended by trusted friends. Check them out below and as always, you can shop the post.

Stretch Mark Moisturizers

Mutha Body Butter • Butter Shoes • $95
Josie Maran 6-Piece 4-oz Argan Whipped Body Butter Set • Butter Shoes • $66
Belly Butter by Earth Mama Organics (8oz Butter) • Butter Shoes • $19.95
Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Complete Stretch Mark Care 4 Piece Gift Set • Palmers • $20.99
Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter • Burt's Bees • $12.99

Let me know if you have tried any of these and which one you love!

xo, Kim

Get to Know Me: I Got Engaged on "Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen!"

Hi Allllll!

As many of you know, I started a Youtube Channel in February after months of learning to edit and figure out all the lighting, sound, etc. and it’s definitely been fun but also an undertaking!

I really wanted a place where I could show more of my personality and not just curated photos like the Instagram platform or even my own blog where you get to see a pretty one dimensional version of me. I wanted a place to share fun stories like this one! Or get real on insecurities, or talk design and style! WHATEVER! But truly a place that was me, and a place that you guys could go to relate to someone who isn’t super polished but instead kinda all over the place and still figuring things out, day by day.

That doens’t have much to do with this video but I really wanted to say thank you for following along on my journey and just being here to watch and read my content. This video was super fun to make because it brought me back to the joy filled memory of going to New York for work and coming back engaged (and in the most insane and fun way!! )!

I hope you get a kick out of this because I sure do every-time I watch it. Chay has only gotten more thoughtful and sweet with time if you can believe it. We have been married 5 years now!!

Love you guys!

xo, Kim

My Eating Disorder Story

Hi Guys!

For "Real Talk Tuesday" today I am sharing my eating disorder story. I am telling you all about my struggle with an eating disorder in high school in order to hopefully relate to, encourage, and give hope to anyone affected by eating disorders. I didn't edit it down too much because I wanted to give the full picture but in the future my videos will be around 5 minutes or less just an FYI.

Check out my eating disorder story. XOXO

Kim

Motherhood: My Honest Thoughts on Having Kids

Me and my fur babies:)

Motherhood: My Honest Thoughts on Having Kids

The topic of motherhood and having kids is something that is very relevant to my life right now as so many of my friends and family are having children. I turned 30 this year, and it seems as every year passes since I have gotten married (at 26), more and more people ask me when I too am going to have kids. To be honest, it doesn't bug me the way I know it bugs other women who are asked, but it does give me a little anxiety because I am just not there yet. At times, I also sense judgment from some who don't think my answer of "not now" is good enough. I feel like I get one of two responses when I tell people "Not for a while!" -

1."What are you waiting for? You'll never be prepared for it! Nothing can prepare you for this so why not just start now while you're young? You don't want to be older having kids, it's hard enough as it is!": which also makes me wonder why people have kids because this doesn't seem like a super positive response. I also feel like if I know I am not wanting kids now, why force it simply because I don't want to be "old" having kids. I'm not talking 40's, just early to mid thirties. That's not even in the. "danger zone" and people still try and talk me out of it. I'm not married to any specific age, I just know I'm not trying for kids right now.

Another response I get is:

2. "Taaaaaake your time honey, parenthood is foreverrrrr. If I could have gone back, I would have waited till I traveled more/ established my career/ spent more time with my husband. You can't return them!":  Which of course makes me think motherhood sounds miserable, something I may want to avoid, and possibly makes me feel like I would regret it based on some of these women's responses. 

The Itch

The thing is, I am not afraid of having kids. If I found out I was pregnant, I would totally roll with it and prepare myself for the new lifestyle change and all that comes with having kids. However, Chay and I are both not in the space where we desire kids yet. We don't have the itch! In fact I don't even know what that feels like. I have never longed for children, but I did assume I would have kids. To be honest. we have discussed the idea of not having kids at all. We both don't want to do things simply because that's just "what you do" at a certain age. I never want to live my life that way. I want to do what feels right to Chay and I as we pray for our future and ask God for guidance. If I am not feeling it at all, I'm not forcing it. We love the idea of a family, and if God has it for us, it will happen in due time.

Family Dynamic

I have had the blessing of getting to see siblings and many close friends become parents. When you get to see others parent, it's truly impressive because it looks (and is) exhausting, yet they keep doing it ("because you can't return them!") with so much love. However, when you're an onlooker, it just seems daunting. I know that sounds horrible, but it just looks overwhelming and tireless. I get anxious and stressed out thinking about it. Also, I'm one of 5 and all of us are hoping to have our moms help. But my mom can only do so much and in my heart, I don't think it's fair to take all her time up with babysitting once we all have kids. She raised her kids (and God bless her because she did it with a full-time job raising 5 kids) and now is her time to do whatever she wants. I know she loves it more than anything, but she is also super social and should have that time to do all the fun stuff she sacrificed for so long.  Only 2 of my siblings are parents so far, and it seems like whenever I talk to my mom she is with a grandkid or working, so I can't imagine when the rest of us have kids. I'm scared of not having the help I need from a trusted source. Even if I can afford help, it's not the same as a parent who loves your kid like you do. I can't even leave my dogs with strangers, I can't imagine my own baby.  I don't want my mom stretched thin and I also don't want to take help from my other siblings when and if I need it, so this also makes me nervous.

Isolation

This is probably my biggest fear. Losing contact with many friends and losing my identity by being "mom" all the time, when there are so many parts to me that I care about. I want to keep working, but my work isn't as regimented so wouldn't allow me to get out by going to an office. I blog and model/act so while I get back into shape, which takes a bit, I would not be getting modeling jobs, and blogging is all done from home. I don't make money at this point from blogging to be able to justify paying someone to stay with my kid while I shoot/write which scares me because I dont want to give up something I love.  I know it's difficult to continue to work from home because there is little to no free time for moms. Am I just expected to drop all my aspirations and be chained to the house? I know the baby stages are just that, stages, but it seems like a long stage to be in and not get totally discouraged.  I am a big people person and find energy being around other like minded people. I love spending time with people and don't want to become a recluse simply because it's easier to be at home. I know this is not good for my soul or my emotions. I learned that from being in Redondo Beach which was isolating enough and I didn't even have kids.  I know in my heart that God would carry me through this time and that I would most likely love being a mom, but every moms experience is so different and I won't know till I am one which scares me.

Marriage

This is one of the smaller fears for me because I have so much faith in Chays ability to be an amazing father, and it's something I know would resolve itself in time. I love my marriage and have so much fun with Chay. It's also taken a long time for us to truly get on the same page emotionally and mentally in order to meet the needs of the other person. Communication hasn't been our strong suit in the past and I really don't want having kids to make us go backwards. We have been forced to face hard things in our marriage due to outside circumstances that have caused incredible amounts of pain and stress, and I fear that having a child will put us in the stressed out/ non communicating boat again. For me, that is prison and I feel most hurt and isolated when Chay and I aren't on the same page, talking openly, and laughing together.

All in all, I know I am going to make a great mom because I know how much I love and care about people. Having children would only magnify that for me. It's more of the early stages that scare me due to the restrictions on time, freedom, identity, and having my creative outlets but I also know everything in life is "figureoutable". I also know Chay is going to be the best dad and I want to see that because I think that will be a huge blessing.

Does anyone else feel this way? I'm assuming yes, but I would love any input you might have if you felt this way and had kids, don't have kids yet, or you decided you aren't going to have kids and have input on why. I am so curious and would love any feedback on the matter! I read your comments and will be responding to them all today. Thank you for reading and being a part of this community!! 

xoxo, Kim

Surviving Suburbia- Why We Have Moved So Much in 4 Years

Surviving Suburbia

So this topic seems like it would have a super clear and specific answer like a job transfer or something. But in reality, the a big reason Chay and I have moved 4 times in 4 years is that we have wanted to try out different areas before we have kids because both our jobs allow the freedom. One of the specific reasons we are moving this time around from Redondo Beach back up to LA, is that we felt it was too soon to be in such a quiet area that is so set apart from most of the city. We were trying to be "smart" for our future as well as our finances by moving to RB because we had the opportunity to purchase a great home in a popular area for an insane price. Regardless, we decided Suburbia wasn't for us juuuust yet, but it might be in the future and we are open to where God has us.

dtla

In case you are new to the blog, I'll rewind a bit. When Chay and I first got married, we lived in Redondo Beach because that's where my family was and it's where we lived prior to getting married. After a few months we had the itch to try something new and Chay found an awesome place in DTLA. To my surprise he was more than willing to move, so we shopped around and found an awesome apartment where we lived for almost a year. We fell in love living in Downtown. It was so fun being closer to my twin sister who lived in Silver Lake and good for our marriage to be a little farther from my family just because it made us rely a lot more on each other. (I am best friends with all my siblings and LOVE my parents, but sometimes that becomes your only group if you never branch out and I needed more than just familial relationships.) Instead of filling every spare moment with childhood friends and family, we did things just the two of us much more often. We grew to be so much closer and had the best time as friends and husband and wife. We also got to enjoy the diversity, culture, and less manicured aspects of living in the city, and we both really loved that. It's so easy to live in a gorgeous place like Palos Verdes (where I grew up), where seemingly nothing bad happens (and I feel so blessed to have grown up here!)  and forget that there is a lot of hardship and injustice happening not so far away. (There is zero judgement on people living in these beautiful areas by the way. I just think for us at our age and the things we love to do and be involved with, it feels right to be in LA.)  I liked being more aware of it and it truly reminded me how blessed I was and made me want to get involved with organizations. That perspective really changed things for me.

echo park

Like I said, we lived in DTLA for a year and then decided it was time to buy a home. We ended up in Echo Park. I loved how diverse the neighborhood was and how so many people were creatives because its important for me to relate to those around me. We loved our home as well and felt we could live there for a while, but knew it wasn't ideal for kids because it had two sets of stairs and no yard. It was perfect for the two of us. After living here for about a year, Chay saw a house pop up in The Hollywood Riviera (a beautiful neighborhood in Redondo Beach that was central and near the beach)  at a great price and felt like it would be smart to rent out our Echo Park house and try out Redondo Beach. We both felt like it was a smart financial decision but worried about the drastic change to our everyday lives...or at lease I did. I am a super social person who thrives off of being around people I can relate to. I feared I would be isolated and bored, but wanted to give it a try for Chays sake to have less of a commute. We also loved the idea of remodeling this home and making it into our forever home possibly. To be honest, I think the idea of creating a custom forever home from scratch was tempting since I love interior design so much. I wasn't thinking enough about the fact that I would still be in an area that didnt feel right for us at that point in our lives.

redondo beach

Fast forward a year and a half. It's been a tough year for me because I did feel isolated, bored, and the drastic lifestyle change going from being around people with similar schedules and interests to not being around anyone with a similar schedule was hard. I am not a mom so it was hard for me to relate to my closest friends and family that had kids, even though I loved the idea of being close to them. At the end of the day I realized it doesnt really matter if you're down the street or 45 minutes away , we all have schedules, priorities, and lives to live which I so get. I didnt see anyone anymore than I did when I lived in Echo Park and it's then that I realized that it's okay if we moved again. 

silver lake

Chay and I are never not looking at Redfin for fun and/or for possible investment opportunities. We saw a few houses pop up that we loved, but  then they would sell in 24 hours for way more. We started to think maybe it wasn't Gods timing for us and became content with living in the South Bay and putting down more roots. We even started to plan our remodel. We said if God doesn't provide a place in the next 2 weeks, we were moving forward with the remodel and trust that that's Him closing a door. Well, the next morning Chay woke me up and said our dream home came on the market and we had to see it that day. I was like whaaaaa?! I was pretty content at this point with moving forward with the remodel and staying in RB. so this was a shocker/ I didn't even think it would work out because LA real estate is on fire right now and there are like 30 offers on every house. Long story short, tons of the design details I requested for the remodel for the RB home were in this Silver Lake home, for a great price, and 2 minutes from my twin sis! We put an offer in and waited for two weeks. We prayed and knew it would all work out just the way it was meant to and didn't offer more than we felt comfortable because we weren't trying to "will it" to be ours. We wanted God to work it out if it was meant for us. Well the craziest thing happened- The realtor called us and said we won the bid even though there were all cash offers for 50k more than ours. They liked us and wanted us to have it!! How insane is that??

I instantly felt at peace and knew this was the right place for us. We are so excited and are now making lots of plans for movers, have already rented out our RB home and are meeting with people to rent out our DTLA place.

I will keep you all updated on the move and all the design updates! Yay! We move March 22nd and I will be sure to take you guys with me during the moving day on insta stories. Ask me anything in the comments section if you have questions. See you back here in a couple days!

xo, Kim 

7 lessons for marriage on our 4 Year wedding anniversary

Chay and I in London during New Years!

Wow, I cannot believe Chay and I have been married for 4 years already (and together for a decade!). If I am being honest, marriage definitely has its low points, but for the most part, from my limited experience, it is the best thing I have gotten to experience thus far in life. That is of course due to the man I married, who is my best friend and the person I would rather be with than anyone else on the planet. The struggle is real, but overcoming the struggle is what makes it so much sweeter. You end up growing so much with your spouse if both people are willing to listen and speak up, which is not always easy to do. We have a long way to go, but I wouldn't want to walk this journey with anyone else.

The Thing About Marriage...

The thing about marriage that has really helped me grow in my own relationship, is the understanding that two people are coming  from totally different upbringings and experiences, trying to lead a successful relationship with different tools. The fact that they come from different households, ways of doing things, ways of thinking, communicating, viewing life, viewing religion, giving and receiving LOVE, etc., just shows me that marriage is guaranteed to be a struggle, but a worthwhile one if both people are willing to recognize "their way" is not "the way", and adapt accordingly for the good of their marriage. This is a lesson I have had to get pounded into my brain through therapy, because I used to think my experiences with my family were the baseline for everything, and I would compare the way Chay would respond to something against that baseline to decide if he was wrong or right. HOW ANNOYING IS THAT?  I didn't even realize I was doing it! I just kinda thought that since I had a "Brady Bunch" family growing up that I must have the right perspective for relationship related things.. I would get annoyed at Chay at times for not responding to certain situations like my dad or brother (who I always looked up to), so it was wrong, right? NOPE. We're all so different. Chay and I just had such polar opposite experiences growing up, that the learning curve was a steep one.

iT'S ALL PERSPECTIVE...

Chay and I are on opposite sides of the communication spectrum. This has been one of our greatest struggles. To give a little perspective, I am the youngest of 5 and Chay is the oldest of 4. My family is extremely outspoken, affectionate, and communicative.  Chay's family isn't as much, so of course, that plays into how we communicate with each other. My parents are together and his are not, so that also creates a lack of being able to relate in certain areas. Chay's whole experience growing up was entirely different from mine, which caused him to be extremely self-sufficient, independent, resourceful, and to grow up really fast. Chay was going to have to make it on his own if he wanted to "succeed" in life. These were and still are so many of the qualities about Chay that I fell in love with, but also frustrated and hurt me at times. This is because in the early days of dating, he might disappear for a while, not need to see me, or wall up during tough conversations. It was hurtful, but I started to understand it wasn't about me, and he was more than worth it to hold out for as we figured out these issues. Despite our differences and backgrounds, Chay and I both look past each others frusturating qualities, because we feel each others' positive qualities far outway the not so good ones.

Lessons Learned...

There are so many things I have learned over the years, but these little learning nuggets have stuck with me. These are essential for me to practice because of all I mentioned above. If you are more similar to your spouse, these may not apply. Otherwise, try 'em out! I swear, at least a couple of these lessons are universal:)

1. It's not necessary to say what you feel, when you feel it. You won't explode or die, I promise. I used to feel like "communication" meant communicating IT ALL... ALL THE TIME. Ugh, exhausting. Sometimes it's good to zip it, not to think so hard, breathe, and drink a glass of wine. It might not be that deep. If it is deep, by all means, bring it to the table...but do so in a way that your partner will HEAR YOU.

2. This leads me to my next nugget. It's all in the DELIVERY. (except when it's not and they lie to you and say if you just said it calmly, they would listen, and then you approach them calmly next time, and you get the same reaction...Still figuring this part out...will get back to you) It doesn't always work, but many times, if I wait until I am less upset to bring something up, he is more apt to truly hear me. The tone, intention, and volume of your delivery have a lot to do with the success of the conversation. When I remain calm and realize Chay is not to blame, but I still need to express a certain feeling, our talks go much better.

3. Show him you appreciate him. This goes a long way. Men innately desire to give you the world and want us to be happy. They need to hear that we are and that they are doing a good job. I mean, dont we all need that? When I tell Chay he is killing it and I trust him and beleive in him, I can see that he feels more confident. Confidence is a powerful thing that can raise people up to great heights, but a lack of it can crush a person and paralyze them in life. Especially men. 

4. Dont lick your fingers. Just a quick little tip. Chay can't stannnnd when I lick my fingers. We have gotten in huge fights about this. NO JOKE. It's gross apparently. Guys, I'm learning okay?

5. Go ahead and go to bed angry. I MEAN, I don't prefer it but for goodness sake, if you're like me, you'll be talking to the wall in the middle of the night with your husband snoring because you dont know when to end it. I could go on forever, so yeah, take a rest, and schedule a time to resolve it the next day after you have cooled off. 

6. You can say you're too tired for sex, and the world won't end. Just be nice about it (and they might be too tired too! woohoo! jk jk)  Honestly, when I got married, I got some really terrible advice from women who said "NEVER SAY NO to your man. It's horrible, scarring for them" blah blah blah. NOPE. sorry, I am not buying it and neither does Chay! He thinks that mindset is so weird. I know I am lucky because we are both very similar in what we need now. But that advice is so unhealthy in my opinion because for so long I worried about what was "normal" and there just isn't such thing. You do what works best for your relationship. Sex is meant to be fun, not full of expectation or pressure or judgement. BAD ADVICE, don't listen ladies!

7. Check in and listen. Sometimes, I think and live so selfishly because I am living in my own head, knowing my own needs. But I need to remember to check in with the most important person to me and ask how he is doing, what's happening, if work is going good...Just basic stuff. And just listen. Don't speak. See what happens. If you really wanna get some info, go on a drive. Chay turns into a Chatty Cathy and I LOVE IT! 

But really...

Some of these are totally silly, but all of them are TRUE for me and my relationship. I am constantly learning and trying to grow in my marriage, and I screw up all the time. Thank goodness I married a gracious, patient, kind, and amazing man who is up to the challenge.  Chay and I both lean so much on Gods guidance in our life and marriage, which helps because we are on the same page with our faith and values. Faith is the backbone to our reationship and has helped us overcome a slew of extremely difficult circumstances. Without it, we would not be who we are. 

I hope you guys could relate to some of these things and if you have any tips that I left out, please comment below! I love some good relationship advice and know others would love it too!

xo, Kim